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How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones
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I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to with introverted people.
I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play". Here I was just enjoying his company without talking.

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-06-09
:icongoldbadger:
goldbadger Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Artist
Thank you much for this, it is excellent!  I now have a better way of explaining introversion.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome! And I'm glad to have helped you out!
Reply
:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  Student Writer
Have to disagree here:  in social interaction it's both give and take. If you're only doing one of those, something is seriously wrong and it's time to re-evaluate your approach to social interaction.
Reply
:iconharbingerhaven:
Yes, this is me. DO NOT INVADE THE HAMSTER BALL. But I still like hugs.
I've also noticed 3 hours or so is my limit of enjoying social interaction (assuming I'm not already tired). I can do up to about six before I stop being able to be polite. Even with family. The only two people I've ever found who don't drain me, who I can be around (read, in the same house with) for unlimited time are my best friend and brother in law. With everyone else I have to expend energy to keep their social energies from invading. Being out socially is like having to have my shields up all the time. I even think of putting on shoes as putting on social armor.
Reply
:iconcelestial-shinigami:
celestial-shinigami Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Unfortunately introversion is always so under appreciated. I'm glad there is a guide like this, for both introverts and extroverts to understand. 
Reply
:iconkajininnokonoha:
I love this. Something I wish everyone should know. I saw this on facebook a long while back. Good stuff, RomanJones.
Reply
:iconcalwallace2007:
calwallace2007 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisene…



I love the cartoon though x
Reply
:iconcalwallace2007:
calwallace2007 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Basically, 25. I feel like  a monster.
Reply
:iconkitsunefireball:
Kitsunefireball Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Student General Artist
My teachers dont get this and always try to hug me and shit.


Needless to say I almost always go home with a headache
Reply
:iconbelgianpencil:
Belgianpencil Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015
Yup, that sounds about right. Everyone around me thinks introvert just means antisocial.
Reply
:iconhockeywitch:
HockeyWitch Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
So true...
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:)
Reply
:iconhockeywitch:
HockeyWitch Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
I'm an introvert myself XD
Reply
:iconkissme123lal:
Kissme123lal Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
I've never understood what introverts are,
now i get it a little more! :D
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad to have helped!
Reply
:iconkissme123lal:
Kissme123lal Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
:D
Reply
:icondelanynder:
Delanynder Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015
I came here from "The Biggest Problem In The Universe."
I can't say I'm disappointed.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad! Happy you like it!
Reply
:iconsolarbjf:
SolarBJF Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Me and my friends, Maddy and Jacky, were having fun with this trying to figure out which we were, introverts or extroverts. Me and Jacky ended up being a bit of both seeing as we don't care for being around other people so much but we feed off other peoples energy. Maddy ended up being a near full introvert. Me and Jacky were having fun with that sucking her energy away though hugs and squishes(I ended up with a head ache later). With this a picture appeared in my mind of Maddy in a solid ball and me and Jacky in kind of holy balls squishing her ball. Shortly after the mental image became a real picture and then became a role play between the three of us. It became our Guide to Understanding Invading an Introvert('s Personal Space).

Sorry for the epicly long message I just felt like telling you my Randomocity.
Reply
:iconhunterzero2:
HunterZero2 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm an introverted person for sure.
Reply
:iconmage2902:
Mage2902 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015
Reply
:icongetthegrooveon:
Getthegrooveon Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds like the truth to me XD
Reply
:iconmegaloler:
MegaLoler Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know if I'm introverted or extroverted.. maybe a bit of both? o-o

I LOVE being around people, and I get sad for a while when I have to leave a group of people.  Sounds extroverted?
Well I'm usually not outgoing around these people at all.. in fact I'm one of the shyest people I have ever seen in my whole life.  I NEVER talk unless spoken to. (but I love talking when I am spoken too!)  Sounds introverted?
Another thing... despite being rediculously quiet and reserved, I have intense desires to befriend everybody I spend even a little bit of time with and I want to be really energetic and outgoing (but I don't because I'm too shy)  Sounds extroverted?
However... I much prefer the idea of being really good friends with a small number of people rather than being okay friends with a huge number of people... Sounds introverted?

Extroverted, introverted, extroverted, introverted... o_o

The only time I don't actually want to be around people is when I'm super busy with a project that's sucking away all of my attention span, in which case it's just because I'm busy.  That or the people are mean... but I seriously like almost anybody!
Reply
:iconsketch55:
Sketch55 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014
If you are wondering if you are an introvert or extrovert (and no offence to RomanJones but there was something that was not mentioned) there is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert.  We like to put people into categories to try to figure each other out- if their shy or out going.  But their are different degrees of these categories, two people can be introverts but one could be an extreme introvert and the other can be a slight introvert; and I can say this because I am a border line extreme introvert.

Also it is possible to change the degree and it is possible to switch between introvert and extrovert; people can change, without a traumatic event in there life.  There are people that can be called introverts but talk to huge crowds of people for a living.  In short form one or two matching/conflicting characteristics do not define a persons character. 
Reply
:iconmegaloler:
MegaLoler Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the explaination!!
Reply
:iconsketch55:
Sketch55 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015
No problem, I'm glad I did not ramble and you liked what I said.
Reply
:iconcrimson-leviathan:
Crimson-Leviathan Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful piece of work you have made and explains introverts (me) very accurately. Thank you for this!

Now for me to never show this to others..
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome! And thank you!!
Reply
:iconshadowdancerbrony:
ShadowDancerBrony Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014
Beautifully explained.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkira-kitty15:
Kira-kitty15 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes! This has helped me and my boyfriend understand each other that one step further.

Me = Extrovert
Him = Introvert

So that you! :heart:
Reply
:iconbsm9199:
bsm9199 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well then, I'm an introvert! Heh.
Reply
:iconlove3509:
love3509 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014
What I love...is that I now know I'm not one of a few. There are so many amazing introverts out there ^.^ This comic is amazingly acurate and...just amazing! To see people and knowing their introverts is BEAUTIFUL! xD
Reply
:iconamberwingknight:
AmberwingKnight Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahahaha... nailed it to a T!

I'm sharing this ... :)
Reply
:icontheantsaboy94:
TheAntsaBoy94 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
To be exact, it is not up to person themselves to determine whatever or not their silent should be taken as an insult. Good intentions doesn't cover everything.
Reply
:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Student Writer
Kant would strongly disagree, especially with that last sentence.
Reply
:icontheantsaboy94:
TheAntsaBoy94 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The only thing we always know better than others is the exact magnitude of our feelings at any given moment. We still need to actually figure out its meaning and origins, just like any outsider (i.e. anyone who isn't you) would. This is because humans did not create themselves; the rules are already set, we can only choose our playstyle.

If good intentions covered everything, then I suppose one could say the most offensive shit imagineable after "No offence, but..." and get way with it. We all know that is not true.
Reply
:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Student Writer
Legal institutions to a large degree are founded upon Kantarian principles, though, so that makes this quite funny. But then again, even the state agrees you shouldn't help a robber though it holds truth as an absolute.

"Rules are already set" - which rules? There isn't any reason to believe at all that there is a certain set of "rules" to life. Quite the contrary. I hope you're not trying to explain the world with religion just now and I am just misunderstanding the implication of that phrase.

Actually, more often than not people are unaware of underlying emotions. It's part of the reason why their own subconscious is near impossible for someone to figure out.
In other words: never ever are we truly aware of our emotions, their sources and meanings.

Also, for a very good reason one says that offence is taken, not given. Everyone defines offence differently, making it completely impossible to create a rudimentary guideline of what is offensive and what isn't. What may be "the most offensive shit imagineable" to someone doesn't even brush against someone else. Imagine two people singing and you tell them they suck at it. Who knows if they are aware of this and just sing for the heck of it, if they're learning or not.

Implying someone is deliberately offensive is half a travesty. Unless you have a very good reason to believe it (e.g. the person is well aware you take offence to that kind of statement). It basically is the difference between deduction and induction.
Reply
:iconpsi-baka-onna:
Psi-Baka-Onna Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm an introvert that works in retail. Not sure how that happened but there you go.

I used to get what I can only really describe as anxiety attacks back when I worked on checkouts and I could never properly articulate why I got them when I was younger. The best way I could put it was that I was afraid of crowds; too many people making me feel claustrophobic. That was never quite right as although I was interacting with a lot of people, it was spread out over several hours. Your comic is probably the best explanation of what I was going through: too many people breaching my hamster ball and making off with my energy. So thanks for that.

Luckily I work on a quieter department now so I don't have my "attacks" any more but the comic still remains an apt description.
Reply
:iconoddball-dragonfly:
Oddball-Dragonfly Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Student General Artist
If you're still in retail while Black Friday is goin on, you're gonna have a bad time (unless you take a sick day)
Reply
:iconpsi-baka-onna:
Psi-Baka-Onna Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nah, I live in England and work in a supermarket on the deli counter. The rush isn't quite the same. It'll get hectic Christmas week  when everyone wants their party nibbles but I should avoid most of the Black Friday rush.
Reply
:iconoddball-dragonfly:
Oddball-Dragonfly Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Student General Artist
Ahh... Sorry, in the US when people say "retail" we usually think "clothes department" or something in that general area. ^^"
Reply
:iconpsi-baka-onna:
Psi-Baka-Onna Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No worries, it's an easy mistake to make. Retail basically just means "selling stuff" after all.
Reply
:icondemonfoxproductions:
DemonFoxProductions Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
with this comic... I found out that I am an introverted person...

I HATE parties...
I LOVE having my alone time...
I LOVE it when I'm alone at home...
I LOVE doing my own art.

I also tend to get very sweaty when among other people...

I do like going out into the cities...
I do like shopping for things like video games and art supplies...
and music shops...
and I loved Manchester MCM.

but most of the time I just spend walking about wanting to buy stuff...
not much social stuff going on there...
Reply
:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You are probably just a person who "hates" socializing with people you don't know, and that's perfectly ok :)

The fact that you love doing your own art, having no problem going to the city ect. speaks more for a completely healthy mindset of booth, intro- and extroverted features.
While there is no such thing as a TRUE introvert or a TRUE extrovert, because this is highly situational, you might lean more towards a perceiving than acting character.
It's not rare that people mix these with intro- or extroverted. One is a shifting state your brain is in, the other is something that defines you as a person.

From the way you wrote, it seems you are not very happy with your current character. I hope I'm misinterpreting things. Otherwise, I hope you won't stress yourself about stupid definitions like intro- or extrovert.
Reply
:icondemonfoxproductions:
DemonFoxProductions Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:facepalm:
I don't HATE socializing with people I don't know...
I find it intimidating. I get sick, and sweaty...
(though I don't mind it if people watch me draw)

it's the primary reason I can't voice chat to people I want to chat to over Skype.

I stammer a lot... prefer writing over talking.

I hate parties because
1. loud music... can't hear my voice cuz it's so loud.
2. they're BORING!! I hate dancing, so all I do at parties is sit in a corner and draw.
3. I burn out a lot faster than others... even when I'm not dancing.

plus the fact that I get anxious around people I don't know... 

though I don't mind traditional Irish music sessions with my family...
prfer a small group than big parties.


I like big cities because there are many things you can do...
and the big music shop in Dublin.... ah...
Reply
:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
No offence intended, but i'm tired of this misinterpretation of the terms intro- and extrovert and labels in general...

See, the thing is, from a psychological standpoint, there really really really is no such thing as a true intro or extrovert.
But let me explain.

How you react to something, is highly situational. You think you have a fixed character, but really it is more fluctuating than you would think. Be it with friends, at work, in different social situations, you have a different characteristics.
There are hundreds and thousands of psychological studies, with millions of different character-types to "choose from". Being introverted is a mental state you set yourself in when reading, studying, watching a movie, writing and so on, its also called self reflection, and every human being should be capable of it (unlike some who aren't, and they need help). And you act extroverted during interaction with others, team sports, collaborative effort, speaking and even while creating art! Booth sides are wonderful to have. You might tend to lean more towards one side, and consider yourself to be an introvert, but that's more like your most used character, not a permanent.

Funny thing is, you can even measure this trough brainwaves. Your brain produces brainwaves or to use a more professional term, neural oscillation. It reaches from 1 - 70Hz and is linked directly to your consciousness. There are delta (1-4Hz), theta (4-8Hz), beta (13-30Hz) and gamma (30-70Hz) frequencies. Most of these frequencies are active together. Your brain most likely will right now produce low beta, high theta and low delta waves, unlike you are about to sleep (hopefully not because you are bored by my comment) then it's more composed of delta and theta waves and nearly non by beta. The more alerted you are, the more the composition is dominated by gamma (That's not entirely true, but to be honest, I could write a novel about this :P). How is this related to being introvert you may ask. Well, there are people who produce more theta waves while resting, these people are more thoughtful and reflective, but they also thrift easily into daydreams and lose focus. Then, there are people who produce more beta and gamma waves, these are constantly alert, and while they don't feed their brains with as much information while idling and generally are easily distracted, they can react to sudden situations much more spontaneous. Perfectly, you would have something between the two. Your brainwaves always fluctuate, tending more to gamma while speaking at conferences or doing sports, and falling back to delta, the more chill you are. There are like 200 different combinations of brain-states, being intro- or extrovert is highly dependent on them.

Let's step aside from the fact that your character is not fixed. There is this believe, that only introverts have this system where they spend energy in social situations, and fill them back up when they are alone for themselves.
This is particularly true, but it is this way in every human being. Not only just humans, but with primates and more intelligent mammals too. Everyone gets tired and drained at some point, and while it looks like some people get energy from going to parties, it's not bound to being extrovert. They do something they like, and therefore get a push. If socializing is what you need to get going on, then you are in fact more tending to act extrovert more often, but in reality, even these people get most of their energy by resting. Even the most extrovert archetype has to be alone for some time to feel good, and in an opposite, even the most introvert person needs social contact once in a while. And this socializing is not draining energy because you are introvert, it's draining energy because you generally don't like socializing that much.
I love socializing and feel rejuvenated afterwards, but talking in front of huge groups drains me because I don't like it. I love reading and get energy by doing so, but I hate reading blogs, because I consider most of them plain boring, and it drains me therefore.

While I appreciate this artist and his efforts, it is unique to him. That's just how one person works, not every "introvert". I would consider myself to be more often intro, than extroverted, but I'm also a functioning human being, and generally do not hiss at others for no good reason :)

This is a big part of my studies, and I hope I could interest some of you in it.
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:iconlove3509:
love3509 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014
Very interesting. However, instead of saying this person is a more-or-less-calm-anti-social-person-who-enjoys-their-own-time, it is easier to say introvert, yes? I am what is considered an introvert - and we all know that we're not 100% one or the other. I do not enjoy stranger's company, but I do actually have friends (whom I usually enjoy to be around) and everyone here is the same. It's just...nice...not to be called anti-this and anti-that, ya know? Being called an introvert just seems more positive. But I digress. I learnt something, but I think that the artist's definition is someone who leans, more or less, towards an introverted state is an introvert.

As for the energy, I thought that was what he meant, since I'm anti-social and pretty much feel dead after talking to random people (in real life, not online which is kinda strange but a conversation for another day ^.^). I could rant on FOREVER about this, because I am very passionate about this subject.
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:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You are completely right.

This is more meant towards people who consider others extro/introvert for the wrong reasons.

I'm always called an extrovert because I love talking and lecturing people in a very energetic manner. 
Which, of course, is a something not everyone can stand. But what they don't see is that I'm completely calm on the inside 99% of the time.
I'm completely in the middle of things, but others always consider this extrovert.
This wouldn't be all that bad, but it brings up some very annoying stereotypes.
And that's what I think is wrong. They define extroverts as "not as intelligent" and "annoying" while introverts are "antisocial" or "losers".
This comes from booth sides. Introverts, talking down to extroverts because they think they are much more intelligent and classy, and extroverts thinking they are much cooler because they have more friends and go to party's more often.
But this are not skills that fall intro the spectrum of an introvert vs. extrovert debate. In reality, these are archetypes defined by a group of people, not knowing that they identify so much with a term, that they just favor opinions from others that fall into their archetype, and devalue the ones from their counterpart. And that's not how defining a character works. In fact, it's so complicated you would have to study biology, neuroscience, psychology and a lot of other things to just have a marginal understanding of the complexity of the human character.

Sorry for talking so deep into this, but it's a subject that I really love, and as that, I nearly value it to a philosophic point.
Like I said, you are completely right, but what I wrote was not targeted against anyone in person, just a little rable :)
Reply
:iconbenioxoxox:
BenioxoXox Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
A funny fact: music and overall radio waves affect brain the way it balances out intro and extrovert of what I heard...
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