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How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones
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I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to with introverted people.
I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play". Here I was just enjoying his company without talking.

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-06-09
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner 13 hours ago  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome! And I'm glad to have helped you out!
Reply
:icongoldbadger:
goldbadger Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Artist
Thank you much for this, it is excellent!  I now have a better way of explaining introversion.
Reply
:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  Student Writer
Have to disagree here:  in social interaction it's both give and take. If you're only doing one of those, something is seriously wrong and it's time to re-evaluate your approach to social interaction.
Reply
:iconharbingerhaven:
Yes, this is me. DO NOT INVADE THE HAMSTER BALL. But I still like hugs.
I've also noticed 3 hours or so is my limit of enjoying social interaction (assuming I'm not already tired). I can do up to about six before I stop being able to be polite. Even with family. The only two people I've ever found who don't drain me, who I can be around (read, in the same house with) for unlimited time are my best friend and brother in law. With everyone else I have to expend energy to keep their social energies from invading. Being out socially is like having to have my shields up all the time. I even think of putting on shoes as putting on social armor.
Reply
:iconcelestial-shinigami:
celestial-shinigami Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Unfortunately introversion is always so under appreciated. I'm glad there is a guide like this, for both introverts and extroverts to understand. 
Reply
:iconkajininnokonoha:
I love this. Something I wish everyone should know. I saw this on facebook a long while back. Good stuff, RomanJones.
Reply
:iconcalwallace2007:
calwallace2007 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Basically, 25. I feel like  a monster.
Reply
:iconcalwallace2007:
calwallace2007 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisene…



I love the cartoon though x
Reply
:iconkitsunefireball:
Kitsunefireball Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Student General Artist
My teachers dont get this and always try to hug me and shit.


Needless to say I almost always go home with a headache
Reply
:iconbelgianpencil:
Belgianpencil Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015
Yup, that sounds about right. Everyone around me thinks introvert just means antisocial.
Reply
:iconhockeywitch:
HockeyWitch Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
I'm an introvert myself XD
Reply
:iconkissme123lal:
Kissme123lal Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
:D
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad to have helped!
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:)
Reply
:iconhockeywitch:
HockeyWitch Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
So true...
Reply
:iconkissme123lal:
Kissme123lal Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
I've never understood what introverts are,
now i get it a little more! :D
Reply
:iconsketch55:
Sketch55 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015
No problem, I'm glad I did not ramble and you liked what I said.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad! Happy you like it!
Reply
:icondelanynder:
Delanynder Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015
I came here from "The Biggest Problem In The Universe."
I can't say I'm disappointed.
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:iconmegaloler:
MegaLoler Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the explaination!!
Reply
:iconsolarbjf:
SolarBJF Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Me and my friends, Maddy and Jacky, were having fun with this trying to figure out which we were, introverts or extroverts. Me and Jacky ended up being a bit of both seeing as we don't care for being around other people so much but we feed off other peoples energy. Maddy ended up being a near full introvert. Me and Jacky were having fun with that sucking her energy away though hugs and squishes(I ended up with a head ache later). With this a picture appeared in my mind of Maddy in a solid ball and me and Jacky in kind of holy balls squishing her ball. Shortly after the mental image became a real picture and then became a role play between the three of us. It became our Guide to Understanding Invading an Introvert('s Personal Space).

Sorry for the epicly long message I just felt like telling you my Randomocity.
Reply
:iconhunterzero2:
HunterZero2 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm an introverted person for sure.
Reply
:iconmage2902:
Mage2902 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015
Reply
:iconsharkplane77:
sharkplane77 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015
:lol:
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:iconsharkplane77:
sharkplane77 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015
^-^
Reply
:iconsketch55:
Sketch55 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014
If you are wondering if you are an introvert or extrovert (and no offence to RomanJones but there was something that was not mentioned) there is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert.  We like to put people into categories to try to figure each other out- if their shy or out going.  But their are different degrees of these categories, two people can be introverts but one could be an extreme introvert and the other can be a slight introvert; and I can say this because I am a border line extreme introvert.

Also it is possible to change the degree and it is possible to switch between introvert and extrovert; people can change, without a traumatic event in there life.  There are people that can be called introverts but talk to huge crowds of people for a living.  In short form one or two matching/conflicting characteristics do not define a persons character. 
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:iconlove-to-draw:
love-to-draw Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, it's a subject I've been kinda into lately :p
Reply
:iconlove-to-draw:
love-to-draw Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, it's a subject I've been kinda into lately :p
Reply
:icongetthegrooveon:
Getthegrooveon Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds like the truth to me XD
Reply
:iconlamlarts:
LamLArts Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014
Isn't it ; D
I remember you talked about these kind of things not to long ago. 
Reply
:icona-bob:
A-bob Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It must be. I can understand why they do that(because they're issues aren't taken seriously) but it doesn't make it any less annoying when they have to emphasize their problems like their life is harder than anyone else's. I don't want to be rude to my friend, but I'm kind of looking forward to when our friendship dies. I'm not going to suddenly end our friendship, but I'm not really going to try to maintain it. Mostly because I've lost sympathy for him. He's always negative about everything, it's hard to be sympathetic to someone like that. So, yeah, I understand completely.

I simultaneously feel sorry for her and feel happy she got was she deserved. XD 

Must be. 
I can be sometimes. Texting arguments I usually do fairly well, but I'm a weak speaker. I'd never be able to have a face-to-face argument with someone I don't know. It's alright with people I do know, but that's more up in the air. I just hate being wrong. I know I should just drop things and accept when I'm wrong more often than I do. It's a flaw of mine I should work on. On the bright side, I bounce back from arguments well. I don't hold grudges.
Reply
:iconmegaloler:
MegaLoler Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know if I'm introverted or extroverted.. maybe a bit of both? o-o

I LOVE being around people, and I get sad for a while when I have to leave a group of people.  Sounds extroverted?
Well I'm usually not outgoing around these people at all.. in fact I'm one of the shyest people I have ever seen in my whole life.  I NEVER talk unless spoken to. (but I love talking when I am spoken too!)  Sounds introverted?
Another thing... despite being rediculously quiet and reserved, I have intense desires to befriend everybody I spend even a little bit of time with and I want to be really energetic and outgoing (but I don't because I'm too shy)  Sounds extroverted?
However... I much prefer the idea of being really good friends with a small number of people rather than being okay friends with a huge number of people... Sounds introverted?

Extroverted, introverted, extroverted, introverted... o_o

The only time I don't actually want to be around people is when I'm super busy with a project that's sucking away all of my attention span, in which case it's just because I'm busy.  That or the people are mean... but I seriously like almost anybody!
Reply
:icontealinia93:
Tealinia93 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I wonder if that's a common thing amongst people with social issues like that; acting like they're the only ones allowed to have problems because they're "worse" or whatever. Kinda makes you lose sympathy for those people. No wonder social issues aren't really taken seriously, though. My ex friend would always roll her eyes at my issues and try to say hers were worse, or mine weren't the same, and all that. I eventually just stopped feeling sorry for her because I felt that she simply didn't deserve it. She certainly wasn't appreciating it, at any rate.
But the awesome thing is that karma continues to bite her in the butt for being a traitor and being so selfish. :)

Must be those repelling poles, lol.
You're pretty good at arguing. xD
Reply
:icona-bob:
A-bob Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Most likely. I just have a hard time letting other people have the last word. It would always drive my mom nuts when my sister and I got into an argument.

That makes sense. I wish people would have understood you more, it probably would have helped a lot. I have a friend who likes to complain about his life and it's hard to sympathize with him when he turns things toward his bad situation whenever I complain about something in my life. I had to learn not to trust him with my feelings. With him, it feels like I'm not allowed to have social anxiety problems because his social anxiety is worse or something like that. So I can understand that it's frustrating when your ex friend acted like she was the only one allowed to be shy.

True enough. It think it's a good thing, despite it being part of what caused our argument. 
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome! And thank you!!
Reply
:icontealinia93:
Tealinia93 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, believe me, I'm ridiculously stubborn too. That's probably why this went on as long as it did.

But yeah, the understanding thing isn't really an issue for me. The sympathy part is, though. It's hard for me to pass sympathy out, since I never got any with my own situation. But I guess that's because my whole family is more extroverted while I'm more introverted, and my ex friend thought she was the only one allowed to be shy in crowds or whatever. Blah...

It sounds like you and I aren't so different. We obviously both have strong feelings about..well, our feelings, lol.
Reply
:icona-bob:
A-bob Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I still don't like that, but I'm going to let it drop. I need to learn to be less stubborn sometimes.

Yeah, I can understand that. People will just lash out in whatever ways they can, whether or not they realize how the message comes across. 
I don't mind listening, don't worry about it. Your problem with your friend sound basically like friends not quite understanding each other. I don't have that problem since my best friend and I are so similar. Taking both sides isn't bad, since you do have a bit of both worlds, but I guess it can put you in an interesting spot that's difficult to understand since people tend to group others into 'introvert' and 'extrovert,' and that can cause problems for people who don't necessarily fit into either category. Learning I was an introvert helped me because people kept telling me I had to have more fun and go to school dances, but those things weren't really what I wanted to do and nobody seemed to understand that. Maybe if you could find something that was geared more toward understanding those people with the 'both complex,' it would help you feel more understood like learning I was introvert did for me.

I can understand that now. This all makes more sense now that I know you aren't as much of an introvert as I initially thought you were. Understanding people is difficult, especially when they act different in different situations. Which was probably part of your problem. It happens to me sometimes too, I have slightly different personalities depending on who I am with. Earlier, you said something about there being no absolute introvert or extrovert, and that's completely true. People and personalities are so complicated because of that. If everything was as simple as pure extrovert or introvert, we probably wouldn't have been arguing in the first place. 

I'm really glad we're not arguing about this anymore. Most arguments I have end on a bad note because there's either a misunderstanding, or I'm too stubborn to let the other person get the last word. Most of the time though, I avoid conflict.
Reply
:iconcrimson-leviathan:
Crimson-Leviathan Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful piece of work you have made and explains introverts (me) very accurately. Thank you for this!

Now for me to never show this to others..
Reply
:icontealinia93:
Tealinia93 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I prefer to think of it as evening the insult score for the side that otherwise can't argue for itself because it isn't present.

And, you know what, I need to apologize too. Reading back, I did sound demanding and insensitive, but I guess that's what happens when you feel hurt.
The only reason I even get upset at introvert/extrovert junk, (and you probably really don't care about this, but I'm telling it anyway), is because my ex-best friend, (she betrayed me in a really bad way, but that's another story), used to claim to be severely introverted all the time, largely due to social anxiety, and she used to try to tell me I was extroverted simply because I didn't freak out over being in crowded places like she did. Yet, whenever I'd sit and be quiet and just watch and listen, (as introverts tend to do), she'd look at me and ask if there was something wrong. It wasn't really even an issue of introvert understanding extrovert, it was like...introverts not understanding each other, I guess. So, as your articles suggested, I made myself more extroverted to fit what I believed my then best friend thought I was, which is why I take both sides. I feel one way, yet had to live up to the other. Eventually just accepted it as a "both complex," I guess.

So now, whenever understanding debates and blah come up, it really grinds my gears because..bad experience. In my world, understanding and trying to teach understanding was impossible and tedious because I always had someone near me who claimed that their way was THE way of that personality, and if you weren't up to par with that, you simply weren't in that category.
I think it makes me upset because it seems very...black and white in this comic. Not all introverts are super quiet and junk, (or even get energy drained like that as it claims), and not all extroverts are just, "omg let me talk to you forever" social butterflies. It's actually kind of misleading and only applies to a small group of either side. 'Cause, I mean really, someone can be introverted, yet still know how to take care of business in a public setting. And someone can be extroverted, yet still get choked up and quiet if they feel embarrassed in public or whatever.

It's not black and white because, like you said, personalities are so complicated, and probably shouldn't be treated as such.
Reply
:icona-bob:
A-bob Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hypocrisy is not fairness no matter what way you throw it.

You had began by saying you were an aggressive introvert, so it felt as if you were trying to defend a group of people who were the exact opposite of you when they didn't need you to defend them. Now that you're calling yourself someone more balanced(disregarding the inconsistency), I can understand better. However, I don't think this comic really applies to more balanced people as much, since they have characteristics of both. It's just different than being an introvert or being an extrovert. So the differences in our views with this may boil down to something like this: You view this comic as saying there is something wrong with both introverts and extroverts; most introverts probably view it as saying there is nothing wrong with them, they just associate with people differently; extroverts might view it as saying that introverts aren't stuck-up loners, they just associate with people differently.

I still don't feel like it was polite of you to tell the artist to make another comic because you had an issue with it. You might have just wanted a second comic, but it felt demanding. I've had people demand I take a request I made for them off dA because it wasn't exactly to their liking and demand one slightly different, and stuff like that doesn't sit well with me. 

Can I say sorry? I got defensive because it felt like you were saying introverts don't deserve people to be considerate to them every now and then because introverts are just selfish, stuck-up loners while extroverts are saints that don't need to understand introverts. So when it came across that way, I felt like I had to prove that it was more balanced than what you seemed to be saying. Hence my emphasis on 'both' and 'understand.'
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:icontealinia93:
Tealinia93 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Call it whatever you want, but it's fairness, not hypocrisy.

Then let me have my opinion and leave it alone. It's ridiculous, the lengths you're going to to try to prove me wrong when there is nothing to prove. I'm balanced between introversion and extroversion, and I've been offended. I feel like half of me has been called annoying, and the other half has been called helpless. That's the end of it. Why is that so hard to understand?
You can throw facts at me all you want, but you won't change how I feel.
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:icona-bob:
A-bob Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Both are not from the same author. One is by Jenna Goudreau, who referenced Cain, and the other is by Vanessa Barford. Further, it talked about how introverts have to make themselves 'more extrovert,' in a sense, because that's the way society works; the main focus was not about genders.

You were being hypocritical. Saying, "Introverts have got to be the most selfish people on the planet" and then going off and telling everyone else you should not refer to extroverts as "obnoxious energy-suckers" while saying the comic is biased because it makes one side look bad is hypocritical. Defending the other side should never involved bringing the other side down. 

I do understand you feel this comic is insulting. But you feel it's insulting to somebody other than yourself as if you can accurately represent them. What if no extroverts found this insulting? Then all you are doing is getting insulted on somebody else's behalf when it isn't necessary. You also stated the comic helped no one as if it were fact, yet an extrovert 
(Kira-kitty15) commented  saying, "Yes! This has helped me and my boyfriend understand each other that one step further. Me = Extrovert, Him = Introvert." And another user(Uzaji-chan) said, "My friend is the introvert and im the extrovert. I'M A VAMPIRE THAT SUCKS ALL HAPPINESSS!!!! But I give some too! Sometimes... Not really. But yeah, this is MY FRIEND. EXACTLY LIKE MY FRIEND. but she's a girl. she did find me annoying at first because i seemed really pushy and annoying and i didn't really give her any space and this guide really helps me understand her more. thank you! :3 but after awhile she got used to it and she started being pushy and annoying too lol" So saying it is insulting really doesn't do you much good when an extrovert, one of the people you are trying to defend because the comic is "insulting," is not insulted in the least but is actually grateful for it. It helped an extrovert understand why an introvert appeared to be too quiet or anti-social or a stuck-up loner. 
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:iconautumnlatte:
autumnlatte Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes! :highfive:
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:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I will not say the world needs more people like you,
but it definitely needs more people with this kind of mindset!

You would surely make a perfect teacher! :)
Reply
:icontealinia93:
Tealinia93 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay, your first link is more about gender, and these are both from the same author, more specifically the opinion</> of one person. Since you don't take mine seriously, I will not take Cain's seriously.

And I'm not being a hypocrite. I'm just evening out what this comic said by defending the other side.
You don't seem to get that I feel that this comic is insulting. To both sides, but more so to extroverts.
Reply
:iconrandomcitizen12:
rAndoMCitIzen12 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Student General Artist
that's awesome!! INTP's make up about 3% of the population

so it's a rare gem meeting another rare gem!Llama Emoji 25 (Mah Sexy Cheeks) [V2] 
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:iconrandomcitizen12:
rAndoMCitIzen12 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Student General Artist
you're welcome!

I like to thrive in anything educational or in things that broaden my knowledge about the world and the people... You could even say I live solely for the purpose of learning :iconcutiesmileplz:
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:icona-bob:
A-bob Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is about personality. Intro/extroversion is a major component of personality. How does that fact alone equate that a guide isn't necessary. Have you even taken psychology? Personality is a very complex concept, so categorizing and understanding personality types is very helpful in psychology. If you can't understand that, then don't claim to.
I just told you, the comic is meant to help people understand introverts based on one introvert's experiences. I defend this comic because you don't seem to understand that it is not about making anyone look better than the other. Extroverts get energy from socializing, introverts do not.  Extroverts need to socialize, introverts need alone time to recharge. It literally says that. This is not an issue about pity, it only explained the differences. And pointing out how you seem to be suggesting extroverts can't handle things is not me suggesting any time of pity is needed. Never at any time did I say introverts were better and never at any time did I say extroverts were better. I did not say introverts were incapable of handling the fact some people will not like them. But wouldn't it be nice for people to understand why you are such a stuck-up loner? I said before, the majority of people are extroverts. Extroverts generally don't need to explain to people why they like to socialize. Since you didn't believe me when I said the world is tailored for extroverts, link link

I didn't say your opinion is wrong, I just said it wasn't your place to demand something from the artist because you had an issue with the comic. It is very insulting and disrespectful.
For the record, it wouldn't be the same. The artist is not an extrovert, so making a comic from the opposite perspective wouldn't have the same type of personal experience to back it up. How can you not understand that? It is one thing to understand another group of people, it is another to tell people how to interact with a group of people you don't belong to. It would be like me saying you shouldn't let a Jew eat pork. I can understand eating pork is against their beliefs, but I have no place telling you what you should restrict from that Jew when the Jew perfectly capable of saying so themselves. Does that make me hypocritical for saying you shouldn't let a Jew eat pork? No, not really. 
If you want a comic like this for extroverts, find one made by an extrovert.
It is hypocritical of you to say this comic makes one side look bad, then proceed to make one look better by making the other look bad. That has been the entire basis of your argument, that introverts are 'the most selfish people' and extroverts are 'kind and caring.' So don't give me that pile of hypocrisy.
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:iconkira-kitty15:
Kira-kitty15 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes! This has helped me and my boyfriend understand each other that one step further.

Me = Extrovert
Him = Introvert

So that you! :heart:
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you!
Reply
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