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How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones
PDF BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE! romanjones.deviantart.com/jour…

I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to with introverted people.
I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play". Here I was just enjoying his company without talking.

German translation: at-msupload.deviantart.com/art…

Chinese translation: www.guokr.com/post/411816/

Polish translation: imageshack.us/a/img827/110/int…

Print for sale: romanjones.deviantart.com/art/…

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-06-09
:iconedenevergreen:
EdenEvergreen Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2015
I did a :+fav: on this some time ago, and still visit it occasionally.

It's clearly intended to be humorous, and it's obviously oversimplified, yet it remains a good concept outline. Especially for people who had no idea why others reacted badly to their efforts to socialize. The one who doesn't appreciate their efforts to socialize is not intentionally being rude, but instead may be perceiving the extrovert as being rude... which idea probably never occurred to said extrovert.

Hopefully this comic is inspiring people (of both types) to think about these differences, and discuss them, and reach a better understanding of each other.

From the comments, it appears as if some of that is happening... but others are misunderstanding this comic as an attack on their personality. A pity. I don't see any signs of preference for either side in the comic, only an outline to aid in understanding. If someone doesn't want to understand and respect harmless differences, it's more likely to be their problem than the comic's. I hope that, eventually, anyone who felt uncomfortable when reading this comic will remember that all harmless differences should be respected -- both their own, and other people's.

One grows weary of being treated as if there's something wrong with one, simply because one is different. Different is not necessarily "less" or "wrong." Many times, it's merely different. Like whether one prefers chocolate or vanilla ice cream... it's entirely neutral.

Statistics indicate that extroverts are the majority of humanity. That matches my own experiences, also. Anything that helps that majority understand why some of us grow uncomfortable when they initiate socialization can be good.

Understanding can help people on both sides respect each other. If extroverts can learn that introverts are not "broken and in need of fixing," that could be very good. If introverts could learn how to communicate clearly (and preferably politely) when an extrovert needs to back off, that could also be good... since "body language" isn't always enough to get the point across.

Thanks for making this. :)
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:iconsnark71:
snark71 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2015
As an introvert it was this strip (which an extrovert friend gave me) that made me realise why it was so tiring being around other people even though I liked it.  

It did more than that though, it showed me why it what it meant to her when I did go out and do things with her, the things that made her energized.  She might not say it, but she understood what it took out of me and I understood she wasn't just wanting to be around other people but needed it as much as I needed the quiet times together.

So thankyou Roman for a perfect visualisation for me of me, but also for helping me see what my extroverts need.  This for me is my guide to how to live with extroverts and what I need to give to those (of that weird bunch ;-))  I love.
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:icondaemoncorps:
DaemonCorps Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2015  Hobbyist
Stumbled into this back in 2013, but still love going back and referencing it for my more extroverted friends. Thanks for making this!
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome! And thanks for the comment!
Reply
:iconriviellan:
Riviellan Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Quen is so cute in the ball...
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
He sure is :)
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:iconmandipope:
MandiPope Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I hugged my introvert!  Intros rule.   :)

My introvert boyfriend Puppetcancer introduced me to this little how-to guide on the care and management of an introvert.  I laughed...  but I used the information, or try to, in order not to overwhelm him and the other intros in my life.


Great deviation.  I absolutely loved it. 

Mandi The Extrovert  (can ya tell?)  :)
Reply
:icongohlanblack:
gohlanblack Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my goodness; this is beautiful!! 
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Wanna know what's beautiful?
Your avatar is beautiful!
Reply
:icongohlanblack:
gohlanblack Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
ahahah thanks! ^w^
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:iconnonier:
NonieR Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2015
I love this - I've never thought about how much being introverted is like being a cat, but we do like the quiet acknowledgement of our mutual presence rather than sudden squeals and grabby hands and all. Sitting next to someone and maybe purring slightly IS friendship.

I and my ex (still a good friend) used to worry waiters in restaurants because we'd happily go out together for good food and then sit there reading our different books in amicable silence

Unfortunately, at some point in my middle years I've ended up a nervously compulsive talker instead, which means I'm just more acutely aware of how MUCH I'm getting on other introverts' nerves.

I've always loved sf conventions--not the big "Meet the Actor and Director" bashes, just hearing authors talk about writing and all, and being in the company of other introverts and oddballs who like to talk about ideas--but conventions have become an ordeal in self-hatred because I can no longer make myself SHUT UP--partly as a verbal self-defence but also because there are neat ideas I want to share with other introverts but I don't have telepathy, so I tend to spend half the con just driving myself nuts annoying people.

One therapist did point out that my existence DOES do me more good than it does other people harm, which should be obvious, but I miss the days when I could be amicably silent more often.

Self-defensive silence can still be friendly, but self-defensive chatter...urgh!
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:iconchendeshen:
chendeshen Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2015  Professional Interface Designer
exactly
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:iconsakanakao:
Sakanakao Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2015
This is rather wonderful. Thank you.
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
aw thank you!!
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:iconnachahmer:
Nachahmer Featured By Owner Edited Jul 1, 2015
Nifty!  I've shared this with my friends on Facebook (via DA widget, of course).  Unfortunately your links to the PDF book are dead.
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah, it's available through Kindle and through good old fashioned Paypal transfer.
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:iconlunashewolf:
LunaSheWolf Featured By Owner May 11, 2015
I love this!
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:D
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:iconlunashewolf:
LunaSheWolf Featured By Owner May 12, 2015
I want this in a pamphlet X,D
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:iconbiancapistillo:
BiancaPistillo Featured By Owner May 4, 2015
This is SO great. Can I translate it into Italian (my mother language)? My friend and I have a website where we translate webcomics into Italian (www.limeinthecoconut.org). We'd love to host it there - credit to you, of course.
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner May 4, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Absolutely!
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:iconbiancapistillo:
BiancaPistillo Featured By Owner May 19, 2015
It's online! Thank you!
www.limeinthecoconut.org/guida…
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:iconmrdatatheawesome:
MrDataTheAwesome Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Student Digital Artist
haha "come out!" *hiss* :XD::XD::XD::XD:

my best friend and I are both introverts for the most part (me a lot more so then her) we'll just sit there and read different books in the same room but still enjoy each others company....:XD:

this is awesome 
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Isn't it great?
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:iconmrdatatheawesome:
MrDataTheAwesome Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Student Digital Artist
yes:D:D
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:icongoldbadger:
goldbadger Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Student Artist
Thank you much for this, it is excellent!  I now have a better way of explaining introversion.
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome! And I'm glad to have helped you out!
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  Student Writer
Have to disagree here:  in social interaction it's both give and take. If you're only doing one of those, something is seriously wrong and it's time to re-evaluate your approach to social interaction.
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:iconreznor666:
reznor666 Featured By Owner Edited Jul 22, 2015
Hmm.
Extroverts give energy and take energy AND take pleasure of social interection. (1 give, 2 takes)
Introverts only give energy and take pleasure of social interaction (1 give, 1 take). They only need to take energy by being alone.
So I don't really see your point here, because social interaction is ALWAYS both ways - give and take.

You probably didn't read too carefully and don't know the difference between extroverts, introverts and antisocial people.
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015  Student Writer
What is your definition of extroverts, introverts and antisocial people? I'm curious.
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:iconreznor666:
reznor666 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015
There is no "my definition".
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015  Student Writer
Then what do you mean by those terms? Could you explain them?
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:iconreznor666:
reznor666 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015
Why? Can't you read info about either of those people types by yourself with understanding? :) I have a feeling you didn't even pay much attention to what I've wrote or to that deviation you commented on.
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015  Student Writer
:) If you wanna be like that, ok. Just was hoping for once I could have an intelligent conversation here, guess not.
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:iconreznor666:
reznor666 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015
Sorry - I'm an introvert with social phobia. I very rarely have the need to spend energy for discussing about things that have been already discussed :) Maybe some other time.
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(1 Reply)
:iconharbingerhaven:
Yes, this is me. DO NOT INVADE THE HAMSTER BALL. But I still like hugs.
I've also noticed 3 hours or so is my limit of enjoying social interaction (assuming I'm not already tired). I can do up to about six before I stop being able to be polite. Even with family. The only two people I've ever found who don't drain me, who I can be around (read, in the same house with) for unlimited time are my best friend and brother in law. With everyone else I have to expend energy to keep their social energies from invading. Being out socially is like having to have my shields up all the time. I even think of putting on shoes as putting on social armor.
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:iconcelestial-shinigami:
celestial-shinigami Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Unfortunately introversion is always so under appreciated. I'm glad there is a guide like this, for both introverts and extroverts to understand. 
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:iconkajininnokonoha:
I love this. Something I wish everyone should know. I saw this on facebook a long while back. Good stuff, RomanJones.
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:iconcalwallace2007:
calwallace2007 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisene…



I love the cartoon though x
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:iconcalwallace2007:
calwallace2007 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Basically, 25. I feel like  a monster.
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:iconkitsunefireball:
Kitsunefireball Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Student General Artist
My teachers dont get this and always try to hug me and shit.


Needless to say I almost always go home with a headache
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:iconbelgianpencil:
Belgianpencil Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015
Yup, that sounds about right. Everyone around me thinks introvert just means antisocial.
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:iconhockeywitch:
HockeyWitch Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
So true...
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:)
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:iconhockeywitch:
HockeyWitch Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
I'm an introvert myself XD
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:iconkissme123lal:
Kissme123lal Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I've never understood what introverts are,
now i get it a little more! :D
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad to have helped!
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:iconkissme123lal:
Kissme123lal Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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:icondelanynder:
Delanynder Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015
I came here from "The Biggest Problem In The Universe."
I can't say I'm disappointed.
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:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad! Happy you like it!
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