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March 19, 2012
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How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!) by RomanJones
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I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to with introverted people.
I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play". Here I was just enjoying his company without talking.

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-06-09
:icondemonfoxproductions:
DemonFoxProductions Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:facepalm:
I don't HATE socializing with people I don't know...
I find it intimidating. I get sick, and sweaty...
(though I don't mind it if people watch me draw)

it's the primary reason I can't voice chat to people I want to chat to over Skype.

I stammer a lot... prefer writing over talking.

I hate parties because
1. loud music... can't hear my voice cuz it's so loud.
2. they're BORING!! I hate dancing, so all I do at parties is sit in a corner and draw.
3. I burn out a lot faster than others... even when I'm not dancing.

plus the fact that I get anxious around people I don't know... 

though I don't mind traditional Irish music sessions with my family...
prfer a small group than big parties.


I like big cities because there are many things you can do...
and the big music shop in Dublin.... ah...
Reply
:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
No offence intended, but i'm tired of this misinterpretation of the terms intro- and extrovert and labels in general...

See, the thing is, from a psychological standpoint, there really really really is no such thing as a true intro or extrovert.
But let me explain.

How you react to something, is highly situational. You think you have a fixed character, but really it is more fluctuating than you would think. Be it with friends, at work, in different social situations, you have a different characteristics.
There are hundreds and thousands of psychological studies, with millions of different character-types to "choose from". Being introverted is a mental state you set yourself in when reading, studying, watching a movie, writing and so on, its also called self reflection, and every human being should be capable of it (unlike some who aren't, and they need help). And you act extroverted during interaction with others, team sports, collaborative effort, speaking and even while creating art! Booth sides are wonderful to have. You might tend to lean more towards one side, and consider yourself to be an introvert, but that's more like your most used character, not a permanent.

Funny thing is, you can even measure this trough brainwaves. Your brain produces brainwaves or to use a more professional term, neural oscillation. It reaches from 1 - 70Hz and is linked directly to your consciousness. There are delta (1-4Hz), theta (4-8Hz), beta (13-30Hz) and gamma (30-70Hz) frequencies. Most of these frequencies are active together. Your brain most likely will right now produce low beta, high theta and low delta waves, unlike you are about to sleep (hopefully not because you are bored by my comment) then it's more composed of delta and theta waves and nearly non by beta. The more alerted you are, the more the composition is dominated by gamma (That's not entirely true, but to be honest, I could write a novel about this :P). How is this related to being introvert you may ask. Well, there are people who produce more theta waves while resting, these people are more thoughtful and reflective, but they also thrift easily into daydreams and lose focus. Then, there are people who produce more beta and gamma waves, these are constantly alert, and while they don't feed their brains with as much information while idling and generally are easily distracted, they can react to sudden situations much more spontaneous. Perfectly, you would have something between the two. Your brainwaves always fluctuate, tending more to gamma while speaking at conferences or doing sports, and falling back to delta, the more chill you are. There are like 200 different combinations of brain-states, being intro- or extrovert is highly dependent on them.

Let's step aside from the fact that your character is not fixed. There is this believe, that only introverts have this system where they spend energy in social situations, and fill them back up when they are alone for themselves.
This is particularly true, but it is this way in every human being. Not only just humans, but with primates and more intelligent mammals too. Everyone gets tired and drained at some point, and while it looks like some people get energy from going to parties, it's not bound to being extrovert. They do something they like, and therefore get a push. If socializing is what you need to get going on, then you are in fact more tending to act extrovert more often, but in reality, even these people get most of their energy by resting. Even the most extrovert archetype has to be alone for some time to feel good, and in an opposite, even the most introvert person needs social contact once in a while. And this socializing is not draining energy because you are introvert, it's draining energy because you generally don't like socializing that much.
I love socializing and feel rejuvenated afterwards, but talking in front of huge groups drains me because I don't like it. I love reading and get energy by doing so, but I hate reading blogs, because I consider most of them plain boring, and it drains me therefore.

While I appreciate this artist and his efforts, it is unique to him. That's just how one person works, not every "introvert". I would consider myself to be more often intro, than extroverted, but I'm also a functioning human being, and generally do not hiss at others for no good reason :)

This is a big part of my studies, and I hope I could interest some of you in it.
Reply
:iconlove3509:
love3509 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014
Very interesting. However, instead of saying this person is a more-or-less-calm-anti-social-person-who-enjoys-their-own-time, it is easier to say introvert, yes? I am what is considered an introvert - and we all know that we're not 100% one or the other. I do not enjoy stranger's company, but I do actually have friends (whom I usually enjoy to be around) and everyone here is the same. It's just...nice...not to be called anti-this and anti-that, ya know? Being called an introvert just seems more positive. But I digress. I learnt something, but I think that the artist's definition is someone who leans, more or less, towards an introverted state is an introvert.

As for the energy, I thought that was what he meant, since I'm anti-social and pretty much feel dead after talking to random people (in real life, not online which is kinda strange but a conversation for another day ^.^). I could rant on FOREVER about this, because I am very passionate about this subject.
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:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You are completely right.

This is more meant towards people who consider others extro/introvert for the wrong reasons.

I'm always called an extrovert because I love talking and lecturing people in a very energetic manner. 
Which, of course, is a something not everyone can stand. But what they don't see is that I'm completely calm on the inside 99% of the time.
I'm completely in the middle of things, but others always consider this extrovert.
This wouldn't be all that bad, but it brings up some very annoying stereotypes.
And that's what I think is wrong. They define extroverts as "not as intelligent" and "annoying" while introverts are "antisocial" or "losers".
This comes from booth sides. Introverts, talking down to extroverts because they think they are much more intelligent and classy, and extroverts thinking they are much cooler because they have more friends and go to party's more often.
But this are not skills that fall intro the spectrum of an introvert vs. extrovert debate. In reality, these are archetypes defined by a group of people, not knowing that they identify so much with a term, that they just favor opinions from others that fall into their archetype, and devalue the ones from their counterpart. And that's not how defining a character works. In fact, it's so complicated you would have to study biology, neuroscience, psychology and a lot of other things to just have a marginal understanding of the complexity of the human character.

Sorry for talking so deep into this, but it's a subject that I really love, and as that, I nearly value it to a philosophic point.
Like I said, you are completely right, but what I wrote was not targeted against anyone in person, just a little rable :)
Reply
:iconbenioxoxox:
BenioxoXox Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
A funny fact: music and overall radio waves affect brain the way it balances out intro and extrovert of what I heard...
Reply
:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're right. Every stimuli you get can potentially shift your brainwaves. With music, it's pretty strong because you passively enhance the effects by letting your sensory input, what you hear, slip to an emotional state to perceive. It is unclear even for neuro-scientists how this process works.

With binaural beats, for example, you can actively tune the spectrum of brainwaves produced. No as much as most esoteric people claim it to be, but it works.
Reply
:iconrandomcitizen12:
rAndoMCitIzen12 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Student General Artist
I have read this entire comment and I must say I enjoyed what you said, screw that fact that it is long , I actually learned something out of it!
Reply
:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
This is very nice. People like you really make me want to write a book about it :) 
Thanks.
Reply
:iconrandomcitizen12:
rAndoMCitIzen12 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Student General Artist
you're welcome!

I like to thrive in anything educational or in things that broaden my knowledge about the world and the people... You could even say I live solely for the purpose of learning :iconcutiesmileplz:
Reply
:iconmurachacha:
Murachacha Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I will not say the world needs more people like you,
but it definitely needs more people with this kind of mindset!

You would surely make a perfect teacher! :)
Reply
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