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I read an article here: edition.cnn.com/2014/01/15/liv…
giving advice to cispeople - don't ask these questions to transpeople and why.

I'm really surprised that cispeople find it okay to ask and say incredibly ugly, demeaning things to transpeople - questions they would NEVER ask another cisperson. They honestly don't see a problem with it and I think it's about a lack of education about the subject paired with a general feeling that since these questions wouldn't hurt THEM, why should they hurt US?

The problem with the article is that cispeople would never read this. This is what journalists call an "ugly baby story" - one where only people directly involved will care about it.

What we instead need is a series of good answers transpeople can use to respond to shitty questions that we will be (and have been) asked.

1. "You look so real, I never would have known!"
Thanks, you too!

2. "What do you do with your partner?"
What do you do with yours?
We morph into raccoons and dig around in garbage.

3. "I though you were going to be scary, but you're so polite and normal!"
I generally have a fear of straight cis people, since you're the ones who try to kill people like me.

4. "I don't care; you'll always be a girl/boy to me."
And you'll always be a high schooler.

5. "Aren't you afraid of getting beaten up?"
Why yes, I am in constant danger of violence. Thank you for reminding me.

6. "Meet my friend; he's/she's transgender, too!"
I have a cis friend I'd like you to meet.

7. "When did you realize you were gay/lesbian?"
Polite: Sexuality and gender identity are not the same thing.
Rude: When did you realize you were straight/cis?

8. "Any question about your genitals."
That's waaaaaaay too personal of a question
Do you always ask people about their genitals?
You tell me about your genitals first.
How old are you/how much do you weigh?

Got any other good responses? Put them in the comments!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconalex-weiss:
alex-weiss Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014
I can't believe people would ask questions like that. >.<
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah, they're pretty damn insensitive
Reply
:iconfloridapanther28:
floridapanther28 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"How did you know?" 

"I always knew I was a boy. It took me a while to notice my vagina though, but when I did, it was like, 'holy shit, I actually have a vagina.'" 

"Okay... so, since you're transgender, you want a penis?" 
Polite: "Actually, wanting different sex organs is transsexual! Not all transgender people are transsexual." 
Sass: "I'm Mr. What Zit Tooya." 
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
pffff haha
Reply
:iconalexmancerx:
alexmancerx Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014
:rofl:
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
:D
Reply
:iconnottheonlyboyforyou:
NotTheOnlyBoyForYou Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
lol these are the best!! people ask the dumbest shit sometimes...what's funny to me though is most people I talk with are too careful and freak out about being rude or anything- which is downright annoying. so there are both in the world Eyeroll Icon If people just imagined (god forbid, right) what it would feel like to hear those questions directed at them, life would be so much nicer.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I think that's the problem - many people just can't imagine what it must feel like to be on another person's place.

It's like when a man makes a sexually demeaning comment to a woman. He has no idea what it's like to be told from childhood that he is the lesser of the species and that his body is the only thing of interest to the world. He has absolutely no idea and therefore can't relate, and THEREFORE doesn't recognize it as a problem. 
Reply
:iconnottheonlyboyforyou:
NotTheOnlyBoyForYou Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014
HELL YES to that, my friend. Have you seen this video?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UWxl…

even more annoying is the poor men and women who actually do understand this and are not ok with it (like us) getting abused by the men and women who think it's fine and "natural"...and the women who think it's not ok and absolutely freak about it and hate all men... 
Reply
:iconlightanimaux:
LightAnimaux Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Asking someone what pronoun they want to be mentioned by isn't considered rude, right?
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
No, not at all. That's basic courtesy.
Reply
:iconlightanimaux:
LightAnimaux Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Okay good :')
Reply
:iconominoushaze:
OminousHaze Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist
People I know always use #4 on me! -_-;
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Jeez, I'm sorry, pal.
Reply
:iconominoushaze:
OminousHaze Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist
I'm trying to deal with it somehow. Where I'm from, I'll have to wait until I move out because of financial reasons.
 I totally going to use these comebacks now.
Reply
:iconbloodywilliam:
BloodyWilliam Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you know, as every person grows up, they learn about how to get along in a society. while every person gets this education in different ways, over different amounts of time (just by living and interacting with other humans), you'd think a professional newscaster would be well knowledgeable in this area! it's not just about gender or sexuality, it's about common decency and politeness. i like your response in #8, the "how old are you/how much do you weigh" perfectly illustrates this. there are some questions you know ought not to be asked, but you're asking them anyway? RUDE.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
It's always best to turn the attention away from yourself when shots have been fired. Psychologists call it "avoiding the sniper", whether it's an intentional shot or not.
Reply
:iconawesome2498:
awesome2498 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm gonna use these every chance I get :D This is beautiful
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you! And glad to be of service!
Reply
:iconmedusaart:
MedusaArt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student General Artist
I'm cisgendered and I actually agree with you. I'd never ask these kind of questions to a transgender person because I know that they're rude.
(To be honest a lot of these questions sound similar to ones I've been asked on the grounds that I'm bi. :o (Not that sexuality is the same thing as gender, but these questions are pretty darn similar.))
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Bisexual people get it pretty hard sometimes, since so many people have this strict black-or-white view of the world even thought there is practically NOTHING on earth like this.
Reply
:iconmedusaart:
MedusaArt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Eeyup. And with the people pretending to be bi, it makes things even harder.
Same goes for pansexuals, asexuals, demisexuals, bigendereds, genderqueers, agendereds, gender-fluids, and so on.
Reply
:iconpetitebubu:
PetiteBubu Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
With your comment I just discovered I'm a demisexual. So happy to know it! :D
Reply
:iconmedusaart:
MedusaArt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh, wow! Congrats!
Reply
:iconpetitebubu:
PetiteBubu Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't blame too much. Cis people are mostly often ignorant and start to know about lgbtq community only recently, it's normal to make dumb questions, especially if your family always described homosexuality and transexuality as the Devil.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You're right about it being almost entirely about ignorance, and patience is the key here. However, there is a limit to patience.
Reply
:iconpetitebubu:
PetiteBubu Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Uhm, I don't know. As a cisgirl who started to know this community I understand how many things went distorted by the society. I bet less people would ask silly questions to you if schools already explain such a thing. I remember that the first time a friend of mine come out of her closet we all started to ask her obvious questions yet never replied before that day.
What I'm saying is that you're right to be pissed off, but many people just don't know and are curious. Anyway, I guess your post is just a outburst and that you're a very patient guy in real life ;)
Reply
:iconexplosiveglaucoma:
ExplosiveGlaucoma Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional General Artist
LOVE all of them.
 Well, on high school, 85% of my classmates accepted what I am because it was not their business. Two or three had this need of mockingly call me by diminutive of my name loudly. Istarted to call them by male versions of their name and talked to them in the opposite gender then they are (Czech as a few languages forces you to use gender all the time, when you talk about yourself, to someone or about someone).
It worked.
Reply
:iconromanjones:
RomanJones Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You went to a far more civilized school than most.
Reply
:iconexplosiveglaucoma:
ExplosiveGlaucoma Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional General Artist
I guess. This is not USA, at least.
Reply
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